


The mind can not rule the soul

by Neko_Airie



Series: Rarities come in Handy [9]
Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Daemons, M/M, self harm warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-07
Updated: 2014-04-07
Packaged: 2018-01-18 13:56:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1430986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neko_Airie/pseuds/Neko_Airie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anumpama and d'Artangan are acting odd, whats the story there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The mind can not rule the soul

**Author's Note:**

> Had trouble writting this, self harm is not easy to write. Like other stories I have written on the subject and other subject like this I have a personal relationship with the issue, so please if you find yourself reading this and seeing something that you do not like please mention it by all means but be tact full. There are others who will read your comment.
> 
> Also another great prompt from selene467

Athos watched and assessed the pair currently brawling on the dirt floor of the training yard, Porthos currently had Aramis in a quite vicious head lock. Aramis was struggling trying to free at least an arm from the crushing grip but was failing. Pinned under the larger man he sighed and relaxed going limp in his grip. Athos smiled, he knew exactly what Aramis was doing and Porthos was falling for it hard. Porthos laughed and loosened his grip, suddenly Aramis spun gracefully and twisted Porthos into the ground arms pinned behind him. Aramis laughed triumphantly starling him. “Why do you always fall for that?” Porthos shrugged as best he could. “Must be your inhuman charm.” Athos wandered over and stood above the pair, Bijou was sat placidly on his shoulder watching them. “You knew that he was going to do that. Didn’t you?” Porthos asked, Athos nodded and held out his hands for the pair to take. Once on there feet again the pair shook hands and brushed themselves off.  
“Swords next I think.” Athos suggested drawing his sword and brandishing it experimentally, the swooshing sound pleasing him. Aramis and Porthos groaned, they hated sword practice with Athos, they always lost although with d’Artangan around now they were evening out the score occasionally. Adelynn and Evette just cocked their eyebrows and retook their seats on the bench to watch. “Can’t we wait till d’Artangan comes down from the Captains office.” Aramis begged, sulking like a child. Porthos nodded almost eagerly, he wasn’t that eager to be thrashed today. Athos shook his head and took up a basic sparing position before the pair of them. They sighed and drew their own swords taking their mark and raising their blades.

Swinging there blades at each other they didn't notice d'Artangan appear from the captains office. He and Anumpama had returned from a trip to inspect the current situation of his newly acquired estate, and had reported to Treville to be given back his status of active duty. Athos had seen d’Artangan when he arrived back and had noticed that he had been oddly tense but put it down to the state of nobility. He remembered that he had often found himself tense and stressed. Athos was concentrating on the training at hand, thrusting forwards the jab at Aramis when his target just stopped and gasped hand flying to his mouth. Athos turned and heard the crashing sound of someone falling down the stairs, he saw d’Artangan clinging to the banister of the stairs like his life depended on it. Aramis muttered something under his breath but Athos clearly heard it. “She tripped him deliberately.” Athos looked around and seen that the only female around was in fact Anumpama, but she would never do that to her human. His suspicions were clearly confined when d’Artangan rebalanced himself and rounded on her. “For God Sake, are you trying to kill me. Grow up!” Anu who was stood on the stairs with a grim look of annoyance on her face growled deeply and walked past him and nipped him on the leg. This incensed d’Artangan and he strode angrily towards her. Porthos watched, this was impossible. There is no way that a daemon and human can be at odds, they were essentially the same person. What would bring this on.

Anu realising she was being followed angrily by her human turned and faced him down growling deeply at him. She had levelled him with a glare that she revered onoy for the worst of criminals and best of adversaries. d’Artangan stopped and apse glared back, Athos recognised this look. He looked absolutely livid, he was sure that if d’Artangan could he would also be growling. It was clear that there was some sort of conversation going on between the pair that was quickly going down hill. Anumpama was baring her teeth and her claws preparing to strike. d’Artangans fist were clenching and unclenching as he began to yell back. “Stop, for god sake stop! It hurst damn you” He was shaking now with what Athos wasn’t really sure. “Why does it matter so much, if it wasn’t for you I could forget.” Athos frowned, forget what. Was ‘it’ what caused the fight between them. 

d’Artangan could feel her pushing and pushing against the bond, like someone trying to break a door down from the out side. He was not going to let her in, he did not need to deal with the memories of what they had seen. He had buried them and was determined that he was not going to dig them up again. His body physically hurt from being so tense over the last few days, the constant pushing was giving him no sleep. He couldn’t sleep, every time he closed his eyes he saw that scene. The same with his appetite, he and eaten little for he felt constantly sick with the pressure He pushed back just as hard to the bond and found that Anumpama winced, he felt an sickening sense of satisfaction.

Athos saw Anumpama wince and was shocked by the small smirk that graced d’Artangan’s face for a split second. Anu growled even loud and too a step forward and to Athos surprise spoke. “Go one go for it, be like him. You wouldn’t even manage a touch.” Aramis came up behind Athos and whispered in his ear. “Athos, we have got to do something. The will actually tear them selves apart.” Athos shook his head there was nothing they could do, this was a fight between a daemon and a human. A fight between the mind and the heart. “Just stand back, we will intervene if it comes to a fight but they need to sort this out.” Aramis nodded and stepped back again still worried but listening to his leader.

d’Artangan heard this and snapped, how dare she. He was the one that made the decisions and the one that was the sense. He saw a red haze fall over his eyes and he ran forwards. Anumpama’s eyes narrowed and he raised her head and roared. It was earth shattering, reverberating round the court yard. d’artangan froze, he felt the bond break and blocks shutter and shatter. Everything came rushing into his head, the memories. Everything happened at one, memory over memories. Worry, fear and pain. 

Athos, Aramis and Porthos covered their ears and the sound resounded from her mouth. Porthos watched as d’Artangans face when through thousands of tiny emotions. Anumpama watched carefully, not worried just careful. She understood this, her human had been trying to hide something and had failed, trying to forget something that could not, should not be forgotten. The mind often can not over come the spirit and with human and daemon the difference often ended in madness or suicide. d’Artangan collapsed forward and began to beg, Porthos began shooting dirty looks at the gathered public. He didn’t need an audience to see this. Point taken they began to disapte and leave taking one another with them till just d’Artangan Athos Aramis and Porthos were left.  
“Please stop it, make it stop. Anu…please” It was broken, the sound of his voice. Anu smiled sadly and wandered over, she gently encourgraged d’Artangan to wrap his arms round her and hold on to her. “It was needed, it is needed. I could bare it not longer. I’m sorry but you needed to see and confront this.” She spoke quietly as he still cried. “Make…it…stop” he begged again. Anumpama looked to Athos and beckoned him over. 

Athos tenteivly walked over, Bijou sat on his shoulder. He took over the comfort then lifting d’Artangan, he was lighter than he usually was and even then the three of them though he needed to eat more. Anu nodded and followed as he carried d’Artangan towards his rooms, she whispered quietly with Bijou who was watching d’Artangan with worry. Aramis and Porthos were following also with their daemon looking worried and concerned about the situation, who wouldn’t.

The room was made warm by a fire and d’Artangan was changed into a warm sleep shirt and led in the bed against Athos bare chest covered by blankets and cloaks to keep him warm. Still he whimpered and cried as he was held, but soon slipped into a deep sleep. Athos hopped it was without dreams, a sleep to heal. Anumpama had curled by the base of the bed and was still awake although only just. Athos decided that he wished to know the full story, he needed to know how to help d’artangan.  
“Anu, what caused all this? I will not press but I need to know.” She understood and willingly told the story to them.

“We were on out way back through the small village outside of our estate. It was almost picturesque really, blue sky and green fields. We had not long been traveling when we came upon a traveller and his daemon. At first we thought them poor but sooner learned different. He was a wretched creature really, I know not what life he had had but he was missing the love one should bare themselves. He yelled at his daemon, he beat her. With fist and birch, we watched in shock for we could do nothing else. How do we intervene in that. d’Artangan was horrified and scared really, but what really gave us pause was the way his daemon acted. She took it, even welcomed it. She stood there and let him beat her bloody, even as he bore the wound himself he continued. I could never imagine us hafting our lives so much that I would willingly let him hurt me so or that he would do it. We asked, we begged that they tell us what ailed the so that they would do this. His answer; life was not worth living for the god he so loved abandoned him, yet he would not abandon god. He would not kill himself, he would destroy his daemon for his own self hatred and loathing of life. It cut deep, and the man walked on, we could do nothing. d'Artangan spoke of nothing for a day, then he pushed it down and forced it away. He would not deal with it he could not think of it. He saw him and then himself and fear what could become of him and sometimes any of you. I am soul and he is mind. Soul bares everything and I could take the pain and suffering he would not deal with any longer. When we reported to Treville he state that there was nothing wrong that he was ready for active service, I knew other wise. I would not risk you all for foolishness that could be avoided and I know that he would not either knowingly. He was lost and I needed relief. I pushed and I pushed and He broke. I forced him to brake because he would not deal with it and this is the after math. I want to take it away but I can not deal with alone. The mind and the soul can not exist separately, with out one the other is in chaos and ungovernable. The mind views everything with logic and clear ideas, the soul bears the emotions and the ability to recognise internal love and toward compassion. When we are at odds the only result it pain and agony in a word; Madness. I will not allow him to condemn us to that reality. I would become that which he feared in a bid to avoid it. Pain and suffering are often the answer to life and ease is rarely there but one must trust in those you love and though that you don’t for they hold the same balance that you do of mind and soul.” 

Athos looked down at her with awe, he often though she was older in her years than d’Artangan but never realised that she held that much wisdom and sway. She rest her head down again on the pillow and slipped into sleep like d’Artangan. The three left wished not wake either so kept silent although they all knew that had nothing to say in the light of such an event.

**Author's Note:**

> Had trouble writting this, self harm is not easy to write. Like other stories I have written on the subject and other subject like this I have a personal relationship with the issue, so please if you find yourself reading this and seeing something that you do not like please mention it by all means but be tact full. There are others who will read your comment.
> 
> Also another great prompt from selene467


End file.
